A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
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