The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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