Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
There is no such things as a tornado. Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.
Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room. Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.