Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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