Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.