Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
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Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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