Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.