Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
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Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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