Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Aliens DO indeed exist.
They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.
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