Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.