The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
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A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
Vote:
Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
James Bond got this email from a friend:
CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
Vote:
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.