Joke #4111

The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
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My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.
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What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
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When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
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Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist? A: Because it had Bluetooth.
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Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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The six front keys have rotted out.
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