Joke #280

Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT

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Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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has 77.54 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: IT
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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has 85.65 % from 2041 votes. More jokes about: computer, drug, IT, medical, money
What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: IT
What did the spider do on the computer? Made a website!
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: IT
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong. Why? Because a virus does something.
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Which way did the programmer go? He went data way!
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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary? A: A major glitch!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, technology
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT, programmer
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.
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has 80.00 % from 346 votes. More jokes about: IT
The monitor is up on blocks.
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has 11.59 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: IT