Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.
This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it’s dimwit resistant.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.