Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
Two packets walk into a bar. One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off. One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"