Joke #280

Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
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A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion. The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
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Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
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99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed... Compile again, 100 little bugs in the code.
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Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
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A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.
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I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’ Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
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