A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
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A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones.
This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
A system administrator has 2 problems:
- dumb users
- smart users
Vote:
Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.