A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
Vote:
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
Vote:
What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.
Vote:
Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
Vote:
Someone calls at the hotline:
Good evening.
I’ve just installed Windows 98...
So?
Wheel I have a problem...
Ok, ok, you just said that...
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
Vote:
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall?
A: Captain's log.
