A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
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What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
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Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down.
'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank.
And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them.
And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office.
Did I do something wrong?"
Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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