Joke #4254

‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
Vote: has 45.68 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
Vote: has 37.18 % from 134 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Vote: has 47.05 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down, you are not the first doctor who sleeps with his patient!” And another voice answered: ”but you are a veterinarian!”
Vote: has 75.20 % from 273 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, sex
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
Vote: has 84.77 % from 1399 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dating, dirty, money, sex
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Vote: has 63.68 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, kids, sex
A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After a few hours in the forest, he finally sees a giant grizzly. He gets the bear in the rifle's sight and is about to pull the trigger when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's another bear. 'Buddy,' the bear says, 'that's my best friend down there. I can rip your head off right now, or you can suck my dick. What's it gonna be?' Fearing for his life, the hunter says 'I'll suck your dick, Mr. Bear.' The next day, hungry for revenge, the hunter returns to the woods and sees the same bear. But as soon as he lines up the bear in his sights, he feels a tap on his shoulder. 'Buddy,' says the bear. 'Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass.' Again fearing for his life, the hunter replies, 'I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear.' The next day, furious at what has happened to him, the hunter returns to the forest in order to kill same bear. Once again, he gets the bear in his rifle sights when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear shakes his head at the hunter and says, 'You don't come here for the hunting do you?'
Vote: has 79.44 % from 672 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, life, sex
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, sex, women
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend. ‘Y’ know,’ he says. ‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student. ‘Well,’ replies Nigel. ‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’
Vote: has 49.80 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, sex