Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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