Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
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Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key.
Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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