Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem.
He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion.
The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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