Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
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Chuck Norris made time wait.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now The Islands.
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Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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