Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Thomas Edson made a shadow on a paper that Chuck Norris was reading, then Thomas Edson decided to create the electric light.
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.