Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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