Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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