Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier. In half.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.