If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.