How do you determine a blonde’s IQ?
With a tyre gauge.
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A bloke walks into a bar in the bush to discover a 44 gallon drum almost overflowing with $20 notes.
He sits at the bar and orders a beer.
A short while later one of the locals gets up, throws $20 into the drum and walks out the back.
He soon returns shaking his head disgruntled and sits down.
Five more minutes pass when another local does exactly the same.
The bloke asks the bartender what is the go with the drum full of 20's .
The bartender says that they have a donkey out the back that has never laughed in its life.
So you simply throw in the $20 and have a go, if the donkey laughs then the drum and its contents are yours.
Been going ten years so far.
The young bloke gets up, throws his 20 into the drum and proceeds out the back.
Within seconds the donkey his laughing its head off.
As he strolls back inside all the locals ask what he did but he won't say and simply takes the drum full of cash and leaves.
10 years goes past and the young bloke decides to pay the pub another visit.
This time he sees a drum overflowing with $50 notes in the middle of the room.
He goes up to the bar tender and asks again what the deal is with the drum.
The bartender says that they have the same donkey still out the back and seeing as he had made it laugh, the deal was you now had to make it cry but it was a 50 not a 20.
The young bloke gets up, throws in his 50 and goes out the back.
About a minute later the donkey is crying his eyes out and the young man returns to the bar.
The locals beg him to tell them how he has done it as it has cost them a fortune attempting it.
The young bloke says that to make him laugh he told the donkey his member was bigger than the donkeys.
Everyone sighed and understood how easy that was and why didn't they think of it.
Now they demanded to know what tactic he had used to make the donkey cry so miserably.
The young bloke replied that it was quite simple as well, he just showed it to him.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel.
After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead.
No sign of the blonde.
After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore.
They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink.
After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.
One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out.
The father had a pet parrot, which he did n
ot let anyone else touch.
But, when he left, the girls took him out.
The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings.
“Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde.
“Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.”
The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50.
“Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
What is the difference between a blonde and a pothole?
You swerve to miss a pothole!
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Young, blond, sexy, extreme sports amateur, nice body, long legs, sells truck...
What did the blonde’s holiday postcard say?
‘Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?’