Joke #4311

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano? His undertaker. Golf

"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.

Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box? High five!

Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.

One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head. His wife yells, ''What was that for!?'' To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.

The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.