I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?"
I said, "No, permanent."
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Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call.
Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife."
Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him."
Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Why did the football coach flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub!
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw.
"You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem."
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.