Joke #4312

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent."
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There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
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Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing. "Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom. "Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry. Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
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Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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Q: Why can't white people swim? A: Cause they get soggy.
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Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech? A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
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Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball? Under the Hoop
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They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
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Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
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I thought I told you to lose weight. Says the coach. What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep? Well, I finished it in three days!
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When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!
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