Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
They say terror? Look at Chuck.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.