The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier.
In half.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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