The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.