Joke #8133

The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.

Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.

Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.

Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.

Charlie Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says "I think not."

Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.

Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.