The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
If there's something strange... In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?... CHUCK NORRIS!
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.