If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
When Google has a question Chuck Norris always knows it.
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.