If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.