If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
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Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
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When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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