If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
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Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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