If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
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Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945.
What a coincidence.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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