Joke #4361

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
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