If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.