Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.