If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
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If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Wet doesn't get Chuck Norris Chuck Norris gets wet.
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Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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