Joke #8913

If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
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Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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