If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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They say if u talk shit about Chuck Norris he will slam ur face into the keyboard but he's to dumb to find me jdjdjddjdjfbfnfmapoibrndskdhsnjsjrrjwiaokdbdjaaksjdbjs this is Chuck Norris let that be a lesson.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
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