If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.