Joke #4420

He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.
Vote: has 13.47 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” “Cool,” says the second kid.” “What are you in here for?” “A circumcision.” “Whoa!” exclaims the second kid. “Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year.”
Vote: has 80.50 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, hospital, kids
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: internet, kids
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
Vote: has 69.73 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, kids, mean
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Vote: has 72.61 % from 178 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, school
A small boy is sent to bed by his father… Five minutes later: "Da-ad…" "What?" "I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad…" "WHAT?" "I’m THIRSTY… Can I have a drink of water?" "I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!" Five minutes later: "Daaad…" "WHAT?!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
Vote: has 83.62 % from 384 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids
He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fish, kids
4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, kids
I was walking by a car filled with black kids, and I heard a *click* as they locked the doors. I felt like such a bad-ass until I realized it was my car.
Vote: has 76.42 % from 760 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist