He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.
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He’s been hitting the bottle for years.
He’ll be two tomorrow.
He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the nursery?
They woke up.
What do we do with crude oil?
Teach it some manners!
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
Our baby looks just like me.
But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
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An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
It was so far out that there was no electricity.
Then the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
"Hit him again," the child said.
"He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"