My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex.
I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
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A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss.
‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband.
‘Professionally of course.’
The wife replies, ‘Which profession?
Yours or hers?’
A tourist in Sweden is drinking in a bar when an attractive woman sits next to him.
‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Do you speak English?’
‘Oh I speaking not much English,’ replies the woman.
‘How much?’ asks the man.
The woman replies, ‘200 Kroner.’
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Vote:
Two men visit a prostitute.
The first man goes into the bedroom.
He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck.
My wife is better than that.’
The second man goes in.
He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know?
Your wife IS better.’
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died?
A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
Vote:
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
A little boy asked his mother:
Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church.
He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?"
"Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!"
"Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!"
And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"