If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
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Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Elephant replies: "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse."
So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Mouse: "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc."
So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Croc: "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar."
So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it."
Lion: "Why did you do that?"
Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
A:Because they can.
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
One day a man heard knocking at his door.
He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling.
The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could.
Three years later he heard knocking at the door again.
He opened the door to see the snail.
The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Vote:
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.