Joke #4596

Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? They keep breaking them with the hammers.
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has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Q. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A. A blonde parade.
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has 20.85 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road? A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...
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has 51.78 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: blonde, lesbian
How do you get a blonde to drown? Put a scratch and sniff on the showerhead.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful. His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt. The bad brother died. The good brother missed him despite his ways. Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven. Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy. One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there. God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Hell instead. The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother. So God gave him the power of vision to see into Hell and there was his brother. He was sitting on a bench with a keg of beer under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other. Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Hell, why does he have the keg of beer and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment." God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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has 64.26 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, god, heaven, life
Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in? A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor askes her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The bastard called again"
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has 85.49 % from 1802 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, phone
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled. “Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do Blondes say after sex? A1: Thanks Guys. A2: Are you boys all in the same band? A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, music, sex
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
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has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde