Why was the math textbook so sad?
He had a lot of problems!
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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?"
Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!"
The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests.
"Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Q: What's a polygon?
A: A dead parrot.
Little Johnny in Math Class.
One day little Johnny was sitting in math class.
The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?"
Little Johnny replied "none."
Confused the teacher asked again.
"Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?"
Johnny replies "0."
Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this."
Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left."
Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking."
Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor.
One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?"
The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
Vote:
What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.