Joke #3654

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!

Q: Why didn't Republicans save any of the black New Orleans residents from the flooding of Hurricane Katrina? A: They were busy trying to get two of each animal for their ark first and couldn't catch that damned roadrunner.

Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.

Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."

Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."

A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"

Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!