A guy meets a hooker in a bar.
She says, "This is your lucky night.
I’ve got a special game for you.
I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies, "Hey, why not?"
He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
White owl: who who.
Black owl: who dat who dat.
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf.
What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup."
Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
"Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."