A guy meets a hooker in a bar.
She says, "This is your lucky night.
I’ve got a special game for you.
I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies, "Hey, why not?"
He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
A Moles Royce.
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?
An encownter group.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.
The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Shit!" says the ant.
"One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Where does a cow stop to drink?
The milky way.
What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret?
He was a blubber mouth.
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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