Joke #3654

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.

What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.

What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.

Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!

Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them." And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."

Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.

A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."

What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.

Why did the horses kept saying orange juice? Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!