Joke #4784

Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.

Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.

1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"

There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery. They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people: "who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!" Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt. Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground. Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?" The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"

Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.

Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...

Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.

The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.