If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
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How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it.
A man has came over to his wife in a request.
She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants.
3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing."
The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across?
A: A double dirty crosser.
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?"
"Because I'm Christine."
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work?
It keeps them awake.