If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
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Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy"
Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is!
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
That shut her up.