If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
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What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?
Divorce him.
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women?
A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.”
Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery.
I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid.
”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”.
”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
There are 5 birds in a tree.
A hunter shoots 2 of them dead.
How many birds are left?
2 birds.
The other 3 fly away!
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
The Perfect Man:
- wakes up at 5 am everyday
- exercises everyday
- makes his own bed
- cleans his room
- works sincerely
- does not touch alcohol
- helps in the kitchen
- does not indulge in night life
- always punctual
- prays daily
- hits the bed at 9 pm sharp
Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.