A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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How do you know if your man is dead?
The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico?
The lady replied "A moment..."
Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.