Joke #5209

Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin? A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold? A: Sits around a candle Q: What does she do when it gets really cold? A: Lights it
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet? To feed the toilet duck!
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has 14.16 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes? A: Because they leave to go answer the door.
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has 15.30 % from 514 votes. More jokes about: blonde, knock-knock
Two blondes are sitting on a bench at the park. One says to the other,"Hey, which is farther, California or the moon?" The other blonde says,"Well, duh! Can you see California?"
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated." What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?" The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink." Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?" The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink." Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?" The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm...Oh yeah, I remember now.Feed the pigs and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," re plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
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has 83.08 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, phone, work
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out. "I will grant you each a wish," he said. "Why not," thought the blondes. "It's worth a try." "I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island". She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away. "I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately. The third and last blonde thought for a while. "I want to be a man." She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Death: It's your time. give me your hand Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die! Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives* Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...
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has 74.46 % from 1604 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, stupid