Joke #5209

Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin? A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick. A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her. ‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says. ‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde. ‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., "What's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W."
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
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has 80.65 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, genie, men, money
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland. The sing said: Disneyland Left. So they started crying and headed home.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There are three blondes on an island. A genie says they can only have one wish t get themselfs off. The first says" I wish I was smart" so she turns into a red head and swims off the island. The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away. The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge.
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has 31.45 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde, genie
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men? Their knees.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
She is so blonde, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went back home.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
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has 43.40 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde, light bulb