Joke #11298

Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours. Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours. The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned her into a man. He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, god, travel
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, dentist, stupid
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much." The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house." The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two." The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man." The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two." The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, life, time
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? One that never misses a period.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide and seek champ.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde