Joke #10634

How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
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How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
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A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are your celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. For my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.
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Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick.
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I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
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Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
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