Joke #10634

How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
Vote:
has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, fat
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?" He says"Quack quack Mummy." His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right." She says "What does a dog say?" He says "Woof woof Mummy." She says "Very good." She says "What does a cat say?" He says "Meow meow Mummy." She says "Yes that's right." Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go." His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?" The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says." Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
Vote:
has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, game, insulting
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
Vote:
has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, money, music
Why did the frog cross the road? To see what the chicken was doing.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Vote:
has 80.51 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Vote:
has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, wife
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband