How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
A snail and a slug got in a crash. When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened. He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What looks like half a cat? The other half.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...