Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room.
The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head.
Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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