Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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