Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris.
His voice is still up there today.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars.
These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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