Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
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Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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