Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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Chuck Norris never felt fear, and he never will.
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Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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