Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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