Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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