I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.
Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.
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I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by: "for my blonde friends... an apology".
One of them responded.
"You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."
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Joke has 51.25 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, Facebook, friendship, stupid
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces.
It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen...
Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?"
Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
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Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.
"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked.
The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.
"Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?"
The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one."
Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"
"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."
"Well, what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"
The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."
Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"
"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is fluorescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."
Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"
The other guy replies, "I found it."
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Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?"
And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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