Joke #533

I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits. Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by: "for my blonde friends... an apology". One of them responded. "You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."

We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.

Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.

Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.

Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"

Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.

3 old friends meet each other unexpectedly in Paris. Since they haven't seen each other in decades, they decide to celebrate by going out. They decide that they would go to the Eiffel Tower. When they arrived, there was a guard there next to a sign that read "if you can drop your watch from the top of the Eiffel Tower, run all the way down the stairs and catch it on the floor, you will win 10 million dollars. The men decided to try it. The first one went up, dropped his watch, sprinted all the way down and looked up, but his watch wasn't there, so he looked down and there was his watch, shattered into pieces of gears and parts. "Impossible," he said to his friends. The second Man thought that maybe he was too slow, so he went up, dropped his watch, then practically jumped Down the steps, and looked up, but it wasn't there. He looked down, and the remains of his watch were right next to his friends' watch. "Impossible," he said to the third man. But the third man tried anyway. He went up, dropped his watch, then took his time going down, taking 25 minutes to get down the steps. When he finally went down, he looked at the local clock and waited 5 minutes, then he looked up and caught his watch. Everyone was shocked, and as the guard was counting up the money, he asked: "how did you do that?" The man looked at him and replied: "my watch is 30 minutes late."

I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour," says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."