A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.
Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey,you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before die."
She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses.
"Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..."
At this point the wife sits up and says,"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
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Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error.
Not long enough."
Sex is like air – it’s not important until you’re not getting any.
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
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