Joke #5412

A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Vote:
has 78.00 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: men
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
Vote:
has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote:
has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
Vote:
has 81.09 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat? A: The Grape-full Dead!
Vote:
has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wine
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Vote:
has 75.18 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: men
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions!
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Vote:
has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men, sport, technology, time
Being a man definitely has its perks... 1. Your backside is never a factor in a job interview. 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. 3. Your last name stays put. 4. The garage is all yours. 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from having an elicit affair. 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8. You don't give a hoot if no one notices your new haircut. 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10. Same work .. more pay. 11. Wrinkles-add character. 12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17. One mood, ALL the time. 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20. You can open all your own jars. 21.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." 27. No maxi-pads. 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 32. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades. 33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. 34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. 36. Christmas shopping can be done for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 15 minutes. 37. The world is your urinal.
Vote:
has 77.25 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: life, men