Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Time travel is possible.
But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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