Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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Sand is created by Chuck Norris shouting at rocks.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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