Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
Some check under their beds for "Penny Wise the Clown" before to sleep. Penny Wise the Clown checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before going to sleep.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.