Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.