Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2?
Student: Why?
Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
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How I see math word problems:
If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
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A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head's spinning," the engineer confesses.
"How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it's not even difficult.
All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70?
Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?"
The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8?
Student: Miss horizontally or vertically?
Teacher: What do mean?
Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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