Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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