Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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