Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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