Joke #9275

Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight. It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.

Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.

In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.

If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!

All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.