Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.