Joke #5311

Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.

Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.

Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.

When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.

Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth

The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.