Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
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Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.
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Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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