Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation.
Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.
He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back.
"Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away.
Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?"
The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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