Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."