If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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