If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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