If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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