Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball. 
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Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!"
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal.
Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet.
Of course, they should at the court.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Four men were stranded in a desert.
Suddenly, 1 of them died.
The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.
The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver."
The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest."
The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball?
Under the Hoop
The boxer fells down in the fourth round.
The referee starts counting.
Billy’s grandmother gets up on her legs from the first row and screams:
Stop counting for nothing, he won’t get up!
I know him from the buss...
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
A. Just in case they get a hole in one.