Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet? It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low. The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club. He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'