What's the biggest difference between men and women ?
Men are crabby all month long.
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God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed.
When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job.
Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
Men are like buses.
They have spare tires and smell funny.
Knock knockrn
Who's there?
Woman who?
Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Man.
Man who?
Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
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Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.
"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.