Joke #5636

Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!
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Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
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Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician? A: He didn't count with this...
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Q. What mode do you use in maths? A. Multi-plyers.
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Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
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Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can’t sit down! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
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Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven? A:Because seven ate nine.
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Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work. The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
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Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
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Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
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Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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