Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.