Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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