Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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