Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
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